Home Alone… Is Your Child Ready?
© 2003 Julie Hunt, SmartKids 101
"Do I have to go with you to the grocery store? Why can't I stay home and watch TV?" How can you know when your child is "grown up" enough to stay home alone?
Some child experts define a certain age for safely leaving children unsupervised. Is age really the best indicator for determining when children can be safely left by themselves? Some ten-year olds are extremely mature, while a sixteen-year old can be dreadfully immature.
Beth, an elementary school teacher, has a twelve-year old son who gets out of school an hour earlier than she does. Beth makes him spend the hour in the after-school care program until she can pick him up. "He thinks I'm babying him, but I just don't feel good about leaving him home alone. I know he won’t do anything wrong, but I'm worried something will happen, like a fire or threatening weather. I’m just not sure he would he know how to respond."
Pam’s two kids, (ages ten and five) hate to go to the grocery store. A quick trip to the supermarket has become overwhelming! Pam says, ?It's gotten to the point that I just leave them at home with a video playing, knowing that I have 45 minutes to get to the store, get the shopping done and get back home. I hope and pray that nothing will happen while I am away. I wish I knew what to do."
These mothers aren't alone. Thousands make this decision every day and later question if they have made the right one. Although, opinions on this hotly debated topic vary, one point everyone agrees with is that all children should know how to stay safe at home and in the community. Consider the following guidelines, taken from the training video, SafeKids 101.
#1 What are the state laws where you live regarding children staying home by themselves, such as legal age and length of time. Be familiar with them. Contact your state's Department of Children's Services. Most states have a web site or you can find the phone number in the government pages of your phone book.
#2 Talk with your child and establish routines and for him to follow. Be specific. Telling a kid not to play with matches could be interpreted that a lighter is okay to play with. Tell your child what is expected of them while you're away. If they know the expectations they are much more likely to follow the rules of the home.
#3 Get proper training for your child. Look for classes at local recreation centers, schools, YMCA's or hospitals. Scouting programs have badges that teach safety. Encourage your child to work on the requirements for these badges. Your local library or bookstore may have videos and books as well.
#4 Start out gradually. After talking and setting perimeters with your children, leave them alone for a small amount of time (30 minutes). If it goes well, work your way up to longer amounts of time. Be willing to adapt to your child's needs. You may need the time away, but if they're not ready you could be setting them up for failure or even danger.
# 5 Make sure your child knows how to get in touch with you while you're away. Write the information down. Include your destination as well as any numbers where you can be reached, such as a cell phone or pager number. Provide the name and number of a relative, friend or neighbor your child could call for immediate assistance. Be sure you have a list of emergency numbers such as police, fire, ambulance (usually 911), poison control, and the local electric company (In case of a power outage). Practice the process. Have your child call you on the cell phone. Although you cannot rehearse calling emergency numbers, you and your child can role-play by pretending to make the call to report the emergency.
Julie Hunt, host of SafeKids 101: Preparing Your Child to Stay Safe at Home and in the Community! is a champion for children's safety issues. Video/workbook training curriculum is available on-line at www.smartkids101.com or by calling (615) 377-0980.
